Creating Parent Profiles for Adoption Life Books

The Family Resume beyond the Dear Birthmother Letter

Jan 4, 2009

Parent profiles present information about potential adoptive families to birthparents who have chosen to place their child for adoption.

Sometimes called Dear Birthmother letters, adoption profiles, life books or family resumes, parent profiles contain photos and text. They are published in a booklet or through a Web site. Written in first-person format, profiles offer information about the lifestyles and family composition of potential adoptive parents. A concise, well-written parent profile is a must for those hoping to adopt a child in the United States through private adoption.

Presenting the Profile to Birthparents

Parent profiles serve as an essential tool in helping birthparents determine the best placement for their child. Adoption agencies, facilitators and private adoption attorneys offer parent profiles to birthparents. Expectant parents usually view up to a dozen parent profiles at a time.

Birthparents also can peruse the Web for sites loaded with parent profiles. Many potential adoptive parents also create personal, stand-alone Web sites to display their profile. Families are considered “matched” after a birthparent has chosen the adoptive family she wishes to parent her child.

Getting to Know You

The primary purpose of the Dear Birthmother letter is to introduce potential adoptive parents to birthparents, according to Nelson Handel, author of Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter. In some cases, the profile serves as the only form of contact between expectant parents and adoptive parents.

Because parent profiles generally provide birthparents an initial view of potential adoptive families, most include only the first names of adoptive family members and general identifying information (such as state of residence) rather than specific identifying information. The level of adoption openness desired by the parties determines future communications and whether more specific identifying information is exchanged later.

Designing the Parent Profile

While formats vary, most parent profiles begin with a letter. Because pregnant women make the final adoption plan in most private adoption situations, the letter often is addressed “Dear Birthmother.” This also explains why profiles often are referred to as Dear Birthmother letters. The remaining sections of the profile are divided into categories such as individual parents, family time, home, careers, hobbies, religion, pets and hopes to adopt.

Handel writes there is no right or wrong way to write the Dear Birthmother letter; however, the number one goal is to connect the adoptive parents with the birthmother who is right for them. He recommends adoptive parents present an accurate picture of themselves in order to connect with a birthmother who shares the same goals.

The final presentation should give birthparents an interesting, truthful glimpse into the lifestyle of the potential adoptive family and make them want to learn more. Beyond the introduction, parent profiles are a crucial component of an adoption journey. Birthparents, adoptees and adoptive parents often save copies of the life book and include them in their family history and adoption story memoirs.

Reference:

Handel, Nelson. Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter. California: Eastern Edge Press, 2002.

The copyright of the article Creating Parent Profiles for Adoption Life Books in Traditional Adoption is owned by Tricia Masenthin. Permission to republish Creating Parent Profiles for Adoption Life Books in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.